Florida International University screens “Virgin Diaries,” explores the topic of virginity in Islam.
Faitha got her first kiss at 28. But it wasn’t on the lips.
Rather, her fiancé gave it to her on her hand.
Then he broke up with her — out of fear that the kiss diminished Faitha’s purity.
That episode inspired Faitha of Morocco to team up with American filmmaker Jessica Woodworth to explore the topic of virginity in Islam.
….“It was an amazing video because I never realized the impact of virginity on their culture,” said FIU student Elizabeth Grear, 22.
She and others who saw the film left with an understanding of Islam and also a fear that those who do not know about the religion may take parts of the movie the wrong way.
“If non-Muslims like my mother saw it, they might walk away with a more negative impression of Islam,” Grear said, referring to the movie’s take on Muslim men being sex-driven and above the rules of virginity.
In The Virgin Diaries, Faitha was repeatedly told it was wrong to be unmarried so close to age 30.
As opposed to all the Muslims who will view the sex-driven men and their blatant hypocrisy with delight and laughter? How patronizing. So now that I’ve converted to Islam its cool to think with my dick and talk out both sides of m mouth? Wha? Or should I be offended that she comes out of the movie essentializing Muslim men to these qualities? Nuts.
Also, at the risk of being criticized for cultural insensitivity, I’m going to draw on universal truths about humans everywhere and propose that maybe the guy just wasn’t ready for marriage…talk about self-sabotage…
The Virgin Diaries was released in 2002. There doesn’t appear to be any clips or a trailer on Youtube. There is a Facebook page here, and the distributor has a page here.
null 10:21 am on November 5, 2009 Permalink |
I get a bit antsy about people perpetuating the stereotype too, John. It’s funny, because now that I’m getting to thinking about marriage seriously, my attitude is not so different from “those Muslim males” that are so obsessed with virginity and purity. To speak franky, I wouldn’t consider a guy marriage material if I knew he had dated around. Yeah, I’m a bigot.
However, the issue isn’t one of “virginity”. It’s of chastity, modesty, piety, foresight and self restraint. I suspect it’s the same for those “virgin obsessed” Muslim males too. As long as we’re equal opportunity prudes, I don’t see the problem. By it’s very nature the mate selection process is exclusionary, and I’m allowed to have preferences, right?
pi.info 10:45 am on November 5, 2009 Permalink |
There’s great insight in your comment. It reminds that the concerns around virginity are, for many, a manifestation of ‘good qualities’ and the search for good qualities in others.
I think that a media product that has a point of view and advocates for it tends to narrow-focus on the ‘problematical’ piece and often tends to lose the larger perspective.
As someone who ‘advocates’ here and there on various topics, comments like this are really valuable for keeping grounded.
Having said that, as someone who has been married and experienced intractable compatibility issues and the pain of a failed marriage that an extended period of dating and getting to know the person would have likely forestalled, I’d give you an argument though about where the ‘greater good’ lies.
null 11:59 am on November 5, 2009 Permalink |
Thanks John. I’d like to emphasise that – from my perspective at least – the concerns aren’t around virginity.
Take for example the chaste widower/divorcee on the one hand, and the reformed player who’s had his fun and now decided it’s “time to settle down” and marry the nice village virgin.
Neither options are inexperienced sexually, but one is certainly more desirable than the other.
I’m not quite sure what you mean by an extended period of dating (3 months vs 1 year?) – or even what dating in this sense consists of (talking & email vs. co-habitation?). Expand please?
pi.info 12:20 pm on November 5, 2009 Permalink |
I’ve been thinking about that actually since I wrote the previous.
Without getting into the specifics and mechanics of it, I’d say it means getting to know someone not only during the metaphorical ‘daytime’ (when they’re putting their best face forward) but also during the nighttime and on the weekend when the full range of responses are present.
So the question remains how to create the opportunities for prospective husbands and wives to have these experiences with each other. I don’t know the answer, but it might start with extending a little more trust to those involved and a little more early indoctrination to be confident that willpower and intention can restrain sexual proclivities and sin.
Timewise: Six months minimum…
shams 12:31 pm on November 5, 2009 Permalink |
rawr….wasn’t that one of my hackneyed anthropological analyses on Suitor-blogger’s enrapturement with hijabis? That the hijab, and thus virginity are markers for candidates of good family who will make good wives and mothers?
But of course…as a white grrl I am sadly limited to armchair anthropology.
bi la kayfah