Over at Muslimah Media Watch, Sara has a review of a play about a teenage girl who decides to start wearing hijab. The play focuses on the response of family and friends, but the young woman herself is never represented/explored. Sara writes, “The voice of the “veiled” woman has been noticeably absent from the discussion, and I had hoped that the play would provide a look from a young Muslim woman’s perspective.”
I occasionally ‘wander’ through individual Muslims’ public personal blogs, and Sara’s comment reminded me of writing at one I visited recently, who explored the dimension of hijab as it relates to conduct toward men. The author ‘hijaabified beauty,’ defines the different categories listed below fully at her blog, but I’m excerpting the last class of hijaabi because as she said in comments on her blog, that’s really who she wrote it for.
The “I don’t talk to or look at boys” hijaabi:…
The “Strictly business” hijaabi:…
The “he’s like my brother” hijaabi:…The “I’m covered and that’s all that matters” hijaabi: So, I have the HUGEST problem with this hijaabi. Okay, maybe that came out wrong. Let me explain. Non-Muslim men for the most part, don’t understand hijaab. They are men nonetheless, they hiss and howl like dogs in a meat market at the sight of a pretty lady…even when that pretty lady happens to be a Muslim lady in hijaab. I have come across countless occasions where I have been winked at, had kisses blown at and been flirted with (I’m not that pretty). My general response to such inappropriate behavior is to look the other way and keep walking. However, I have seen other sisters laugh, smile back and even wave. They think its funny, but what this sister doesn’t understand is that she just gave Islam a bad name. That man that flirted with her has no idea what Islam is or why we cover and by acting in such a manner you just showed him the Hijaab means nothing. No doubt, you can’t help that you are beautiful…Allah (SWT) made you that way, but its a test…and by acting immature…you’re failing. To me, hijaab is a form of Dawah. I use it explain why I can’t shake a strange man’s hand or why I definitely can’t hug him. I use my Islamic identity to explain why I can’t date, etc. When people mis-portray hijaab it upsets me.
I would remind that though personal blogs are public, they are personal, so keep your adab around you if you have a response.
Sebastian 7:38 am on November 15, 2009 Permalink |
I can’t even decide how to begin. What’s wrong in being flirted with? How can you find it wrong that men are showing interest in you. Men and women are made like this to show interest toward the opposite sex, and this is great! The greater the attraction between the opposite sexes the healthier the society. And if you really want that men shouldn’t like you as a woman (which I don’t believe), you can make yourself ugly without wearing a hijab. The hijab is not for the good of the women nor for the good of the society. It is for the protection of the insecure and jealous man who fears that ‘his’ women will fornicate at every opportunity while he is left helpless. If you want a society where people respect each other than start teaching people, your friends, husband and children, to respect other people (including women) not only if they dress modestly. The problem in Islamic societies, and I don’t know if Islam or Pre-Islamic tradition is to blame, that women are disrespected and treated as sluts if they display interest in men (and dressing sexy is one way of doing it). On the other hand men are free and even encouraged to display interest in women. If things go wrong of course the women is to blame. She shouldn’t have ‘turned in’ the man. The only thing people should do is to have respect and take full responsibility for their actions. Men and women should flirt with each other. It’ s part of the beauty of life. Stop blaming those girls for enjoying life. Maybe you should try it sometimes.
Buzz 3:39 pm on November 15, 2009 Permalink |
You would have like the Rajneeshies Sebastian, but the answer to your question is that your culture and manners and values are not global. There are other ways to live ones life.
Islamic culture is outwardly puritanical, discipline is emphasized and sexuality is ideally private and structured.
As a Westerner, I found this, arranged marriages, etc. a little repressed. But I have come to appreciate the wisdom in it as I have grown out of my 20’s and into maturity.